


Occupy My Mind

by Erinismyname



Series: Come Back To Me [1]
Category: One Direction
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Sex, Sad!Louis, insecure!louis, larry stylinson - Freeform, this just happened, this was inspired by recent events
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2013-06-15
Packaged: 2017-12-14 22:58:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/842330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erinismyname/pseuds/Erinismyname
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis have been struggling for a bit and Harry decided that he needed a break. Louis didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Occupy My Mind

**Author's Note:**

> First Larry Stylinson oneshot. Let me know what you think.

"Fuck, Harry! That was amazing!" Louis panted out as he came down from his high with Harry's warm body still on top and inside of him. Harry had been hesitant at first, but Louis had seduced him. Whatever Harry wanted to tell Louis could wait till morning. Louis' stomach and chest felt sticky but he couldn't bring myself to want to move. They'd finally gotten their alone time in weeks since the tour had started. Louis winced a little as Harry pulled out of him and threw away the condom. He came back with a wet washcloth and cleaned the cum from Louis' body. 

"I still need to talk to you Louis." Harry said in a suddenly serious voice. 

"It can wait till morning Hazza. Come cuddle with me." Louis said with grabby arms. Harry gave him a small sad smile but got back in bed and wrapped his arms around Louis' body. Louis rested his hands against Harry's chest and nuzzled his head into the crook of Harry's neck before falling into a deep sleep. 

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

"Come back to bed babe," Louis said with his raspy morning voice when he woke up and noticed Harry sitting hunched over at the edge of the bed.

"Lou, I, I think we need to take a break for a bit." Harry said as he looked Louis in the eyes. Louis could see the sadness in Harry's eyes and so Louis just nodded his head. He'd had seen it coming. For months our relationship has been strained. Even though it often was in the back of his mind, Louis always believed that they could get through anything that the world threw at us. Louis guessed he must have been wrong. He looked up as Harry rose from the bed and began pulling on his clothing. 

"I'm gonna pack up my stuff and stay with Niall for a bit until things clear up for me." Harry told Louis monotonously. 

"Why?" Louis croaked out softly. He wanted so desperately to cry or do something but no tears would fill his eyes. Louis felt so numb and was desperate to feel something. Harry's voice made him feel something. It made Louis feel warm and fuzzy but most importantly: loved. 

"Things happen." Harry explained unhelpfully. His voice was strangely cold and didn't make Louis feel anything else besides an aching gap in his heart already forming from loss. Harry quickly gathered the rest of his things along with his suitcase and left Louis without even one last glance back. Louis didn't like the sick feeling that it left inside him but he didn't know what to do.

Maybe, Louis thought, he could have woken Harry up with his warm mouth strained over Harry's length instead of warm cuddles in the morning light that always left him feeling like the sun decided to shine for their love. Louis shook his head with that thought. That's nothing like Harry at all. Harry loved with all of his heart, not just his dick. If Louis had lost Harry's heart, it was already obvious that sex, no matter how mind blowing, would never win Harry back. 

Louis still didn't know how to get Harry back. Getting him in the beginning was so easy. Those soft and snowy January days where all that mattered was that they love each other. No international fame problems or a management that was suppressing them. They were so young with so much love and Louis always thought they'd just built on that love with every touch, every glance. Harry must have felt that love dwindling. Those touches and sneaky looks must not have meant the same thing to Harry as they did to Louis.

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Weeks had begun to pass again and Louis' longing not so subtle glances at Harry while they were performing were more and more obvious to everyone. Management sent Louis condescending looks while Liam sent him looks of pity. Niall was almost always with Harry so he was out of the question. That's why Louis decided to hang out with Zayn a lot. This new development is exactly why Louis was now in a very risky situation. 

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

"C'mon Lou," Zayn said as he swung an arm over Louis' shoulders as they walked onto the yacht. "A smoke might be just what you need." 

"I don't know Zayn." Louis replied nervously. "What if we get caught?" 

"We won't. I promise mate." Zayn said with a grin. "We can just buy out any paparazzi if there are any." 

"Okay just one joint Zayn." Louis said pointedly as he finally gave in. Maybe the weed would relax him and make him feel happy for the first time in weeks. 

All of the boys in One Direction were on board so the yacht was off. They made idle chit chat and bantered a bit until they got as far off shore as they would go. 

"Ready Lou?" Zayn asked as he pulled out a baggie containing about five or six joints. 

"Ready as I'll ever be," Louis said as he let out a sigh. America is the land of opportunity anyways. Might as well try weed while he's here. Zayn pulled out two and gave Louis the first and lit it up for him. From there, things went downhill. 

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

"It'll be alright Lou," Zayn whispered into Louis' ear before pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head. They were cuddled up on a black couch post high and Louis was left in quite an emotional state. 

"He doesn't love me anymore!" Louis wailed out another loud sob that wracked his body. 

"That's not true. Don't lie to yourself." Zayn tried to calm Louis down and petted Louis' feathered hair. 

"Why am I not good enough for him Zayn?" Louis looked up with glassy bloodshot eyes that were overflowing with tears, making them look even more startling blue than usual. "I wish I was a girl. He'd want me then." 

"It's just a break Louis. You'll be right back together in a jiffy." Zayn said confidently to help ease Louis' insecurities. 

"You promise?" Louis asked as he looked at Zayn with a wobbly lip. No one would ever guess that Louis was the eldest of the band right then. He was too small, fragile, and childlike.

"I promise." Zayn said and that was all it took for Louis to stop his crying and fall into a deep sleep, exhausted from a hot day and a lot of crying.

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

"Let me in!" Louis heard the banging on his hotel door and the unmistakable voice of Harry calling for him.

"Harr-" Louis began in surprise. One look at Harry's face changed his surprise though. Harry was drunk.

"You've ruined everything!" Harry yelled at Louis. His voice was getting louder as he spoke and his face reddened. The alcohol on his breath made Louis want to gag. "All of the fans are gonna leave us cause you are so stupid." 

"That's not-" Louis tried to interject but was quickly cut off by Harry's angry rant. 

"Oh shut up! Are you ever not begging for attention?" Harry was absolutely fuming and Louis just cringed and tried to shrink away. A drink angry Harry was something even Louis wasn't acquainted with at all. Louis was really scared. Harry's fists were clenched and ready to hit so Louis just tried to get as much space between their two bodies but Harry just kept getting closer and closer. "It's not just about you here. You are such an attention whore!" 

The ringing in Louis' ear and the sharp sting and flaring heat in his cheek made Louis crumple onto the floor in the corner of the room. Louis let out a shocked and choked sob and put his arms over his head to protect himself from any more hits. Harry had just hit him. Harry had just called him an attention whore? Whore. That specific word stuck so vividly in his brain. He'd only ever had sex with two people and now he's a whore?! Well, maybe an attention whore isn't the exact same thing but Louis was pretty sure that attention whores have lots of sex and will do anything to be in the spotlight. He couldn't believe that Harry had called him that.

"That's what I thought. Nothing to say for yourself for once. Well, I- fuck you!" Harry let out a loud disgusted scoff and stumbled drunkenly out of Louis' room.

When Louis pulled his arms back down, he gasped at the sight of his own blood trickling down his forearm. He gingerly felt around the area where he'd been backhanded and found the wound. Using the wall for support, Louis quickly found his way to his feet and rushed into the bathroom to examine the damage. The gash managed to mar all the skin between the tip of his right eyebrow and his hairline. It was about a centimeter wide but it was long and makeup would not be happy about this. The face of Harry's watch was imprinted into his skin, a large round bruise already began to form around the wound. Louis winced as he cleaned out the cut with soap and water before putting on Neosporin and a bandage he'd found in the first aid kit in the cabinet.

Harry was drunk, he didn't really mean it. Louis was desperately trying to convince himself.Well, a drunk mouth speaks a sober mind, Louis thought regretfully. Harry was so drunk that he probably wouldn't even remember what happened in the morning. It's better that way, Louis thought bitterly. 

Louis just wanted to fade away. He didn't always feel like the fame was worth it anymore. He could be studying to be a drama teacher at some UNI. Maybe he'd even have a boyfriend who love him. It might not be Harry but Louis figured he'd be lucky to find anyone who would actually take him anymore. Getting a guy who he actually loved like Harry might not be part of his life plans anymore. He'd just have to find someone he could stand who would put up with all of his shit. Life wouldn't be perfect but then again, when is it ever?

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Louis woke up blearily with a strong pain all over the right side of his face. It took him a minute in his dozy stupor to remember why but once he had, he wished that he didn't. After pushing the covers off of himself, Louis swung his legs over the edge of the bed and headed into the bathroom to take a shower before the second day of their Office Depot photo shoot. One glance at his face was all Louis needed to know that he was screwed. A bruise the size of Harry's hand had formed all over the right side of his face. It was an awful yellow and green color but the worst spot was where the watch had collided. Louis removed the bandage he'd put on the night (early morning) before to reveal a dark purple bruising that framed his angry red scabbed over cut. There was no doubt in his mind that he would be in a lot of trouble with management when they saw his face. 

After a quick shower, Louis pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans along with a black scoop neck shirt and a pair of black vans before heading out with Paul to the lobby. 

"What have you done to your face?" Paul asked Louis in surprise when he saw Louis' face. 

"I tripped in the bathroom last night and hit my head. It's not that bad, is it?" Louis asked Paul as he tried to feign innocence.

"You've really got to be more careful with your body." Paul told Louis and they left it at that. 

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Makeup was definitely not happy with Louis but they also weren't happy with Harry. Harry's eyes were red and dry from his hangover and the bags under his eyes were almost impossible for them to disguise. 

The photo shoot seemed to drag on and on as the boys began to sweat under the hot spot lights. After many different poses and shots, the boys were finally dismissed for the day.

"Well it definitely seems that we'll have to keep you two apart at night then." Paul told Louis and Harry as they approached. Louis just paled. Did Paul know what happened.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked with his brow scrunched in confusion.

"Sam said he saw you go into Louis' room last night. Where'd you guys hide the alcohol this time?" Paul asked with a chuckle.

"That didn't happen. I never went into Louis' room." Harry told Paul.

"Yeah he wasn't with me," Louis said exhaustedly. It wasn't even noon yet and he was already beyond tired and just wished the day was over.

"I saw you let him into your room last night." Sam insisted. 

"I did not!" Louis said while raising his voice. 

"If you were drinking and getting high again, it's not like you could cause anymore damage than you already have," Sam said with an accusingly look in Louis' direction. 

"I didn't do either of the two last night so don't look at me like that." Louis said angrily. "Anyways, I'm not the one here with a hangover. 

"Hey!" Harry yelled at the accusation. "At least I didn't show up with my face all beaten up." 

"Yeah Louis. I think it's about time to you told us how you really got that bruise and cut." Paul told Louis in a soft but commanding voice. 

"I already told you, I tripped over some clothes and hit my face on the sink in the bathroom." Louis said frustratedly. 

"Stop be such a liar." Harry said and took a step towards Louis. Louis felt an awful sense of déjà vu as Harry got closer. Though Harry now smelled of his trademark musky cologne, Louis' nose could only smell the alcohol that had engulfed it last night. Louis inadvertently cringed and let out the softest of whimpers that went undetected by all but Harry and Zayn. 

"Louis," Zayn began cautiously. "Did Harry hit you?" 

"No!" Louis shouted immediately with wide scared eyes. 

"Of course I didn't Zayn. Who do you think I am?" Harry said with hurt evident in his voice. 

"Harry, you don't even remember what you did last night so please just-just shut up for a bit now." Zayn said as he turned his attention back to Louis. "Did you let Harry into your room last night?" 

Louis shook his head frantically but refused to look Zayn in the eyes or speak. If he spoke, he was afraid that he would start crying. One look into Zayn's eyes and Zayn would know that Louis was lying. 

"Look at me Louis," Zayn commanded and waited for Louis to meet his eyes. When Louis finally lifted his gaze from the floor, it only took Zayn one look into Louis' eyes for him to realize that basics of what happened the night before. Zayn quickly strode over to Louis and pushed Harry back before engulfing Louis in a warm and strong hug. Louis clung to Zayn's shirt and buried his face into Zayn's chest as he let silent sobs 

"I would, I would never have," Harry stumbled over his own words. His eyes were wide and the curls framing his face made him look like the cherub of a sixteen year old that he used to be.

"I'm sorry son," Paul said and patted Harry's shoulder before walking off with Niall and Liam.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and leave kudos. There will be more in this series. Please let me know if there are any grammar errors or really bad loose ends. I hope to answer all loose ends in the next part.  
> P.S: my tumblr is makinwishesonairplanes.tumblr.com if you have any questions


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